Asking for what we’re worth isn’t just about knowing the right words to say—it’s about shifting deep-seated beliefs we’ve been holding onto for years that we are not measuring up to some standard we feel we need to meet to deserve more.

Many of us struggle to advocate for ourselves due to the fear, self-doubt, and societal conditioning that has taught us to accept less than we deserve.

What we don’t realize is whether we are business owners, working for someone else or simply advocating for ourselves on a personal level, this skill is immensely important. So let’s talk a little bit about the mindset behind undervaluing ourselves.

Before we can confidently ask for what we’re worth, we need to understand what’s holding us back. Here are some common factors that contribute to this and a few mindset shifts I think will be helpful:

Fear of Rejection or Conflict: 

Many of us avoid asking for more because we fear hearing “no” or worry that the request will create tension. There's a deep-seated belief that advocating for ourselves might make us seem ungrateful, greedy, or difficult—especially in corporate settings where we’re often taught to "wait our turn."

💡 Mindset Shift: Rejection is not personal—it’s part of negotiation. The most successful people in business ask for what they want and even if they face rejection they keep pushing forward.

Imposter Syndrome: 

Imposter syndrome makes us believe we aren’t qualified enough, experienced enough, or talented enough to ask for more. Those who experience this fear often worry that if they push for higher pay or better treatment of any kind, someone will “find out” they don’t truly deserve it.

💡 Mindset Shift: You don’t have to know everything to be valuable. Your current skills and experience have worth. If someone is willing to pay you at your current rate, they’d likely pay more.

Perfectionism: 

The belief that you need to be flawless before you can ask for more. This keeps people in a cycle of “proving themselves” instead of claiming their worth.

Have you ever experienced delaying to launch something in your biz because you think it’s not good enough yet, rather than just setting a fair price and going for it?

💡 Mindset Shift: Done is better than perfect. If you wait until you feel “ready,” you’ll always be waiting. I learned this the hard way in my biz and now it makes it more fun to know that I can iterate as I go and continue to improve on something as I get feedback.

Societal Conditioning : 

Many of us were raised to be humble, not to rock the boat, or to wait for others to recognize our worth instead of asserting it ourselves. Otherwise, we may seem too “demanding”. Women, we know this… we are socialized to be accommodating rather than assertive, which can make negotiation feel totally uncomfortable.

💡 Mindset Shift: Assertiveness is not arrogance. Men are expected to negotiate—why shouldn’t you?

Scarcity Mindset: 

The belief that opportunities are limited, that asking for more might cost us a job, client, or opportunity, or that we should just be “grateful” for what we have. If you believe this, you’re more likely to accept less than you deserve out of fear you won’t get another chance.

This can come in when accepting a lower price or salary because you think negotiating will be a turn off and make the other person withdraw the offer.

💡 Mindset Shift : Money and opportunities are abundant. The right people who resonate with who you are and/ what you bring to the party will pay you fairly for your skills and expertise. Believe me…

So what are the common signs that you’re not asking for what your worth – and action steps you can take to turn that around.

Sometimes, we don’t even realize we’re undervaluing ourselves because we’ve normalized behaviors that keep us stuck. Here are some red flags:

Undercharging for Your Work: 

This is for the business owners out there. It’s not always obvious when we’re doing this because it often happens gradually. Here are some ways to know you’re doing this:

You set low rates or accept jobs that don’t pay enough because you’re afraid of pricing yourself out of opportunities or you don’t raise your rates over time, even as your experience grows.

💡 Action Step: Research industry rates and increase your pricing gradually—most clients expect prices to go up over time.

Overworking Without Recognition: 

You regularly take on extra responsibilities without extra pay by staying late, handling more clients or leading projects without promotion.

💡 Action Step: Track your contributions. When negotiating a raise or promotion, present the value you’ve added rather than waiting to be noticed.

Avoiding Difficult Conversations: 

You know you deserve more but feel uncomfortable or anxious about bringing it up. You rationalize staying silent (“Maybe next year,” “I don’t want to seem pushy,” “What if they say no?”).

💡 Action Step: Practice having these conversations with a mentor or friend. The more you practice, the easier it becomes.

Letting Others Set the Terms: 

You accept whatever salary, rate, or contract terms are offered without negotiating.

💡 Action Step: The first offer is rarely the best. Even asking for more can lead to better terms.

Feeling Resentful: 

If you frequently feel frustrated, undervalued, or taken advantage of in your job or business, it’s a sign that you’re not getting what you deserve.

💡 Action Step: Your frustration is a sign. It’s time to reassess your pricing, workload, and boundaries.

Finally, I want to dive into How Confidence can Impact your Success. Our ability to advocate for ourselves directly affects our financial stability, career growth, and overall satisfaction. In fact, studies show that people who negotiate their salaries earn significantly more over their lifetime compared to those who don’t.

An example of this is a tech employee who negotiated an extra $10K in salary—over 10 years, that’s $100K+ of extra earnings.

Those who confidently ask for promotions, raises, and leadership opportunities are more likely to advance in their careers. We see this all the time. All it takes is the courage to ask.

Entrepreneurs and freelancers who set clear boundaries and charge what they’re worth attract better clients and grow more profitable businesses. I have seen this in my own business time and again. You want to work with people who recognize that it is a value exchange and what you bring to the table.

When you advocate for yourself, you reinforce your own self-worth, which makes future negotiations easier and strengthens your personal and professional presence.

💡 Takeaway: People take you as seriously as you take yourself.

It’s time to ask yourself a few questions:  

1. What’s one time you didn’t ask for what you were worth? What stopped you?

2.Identify one area where you’ve been undervaluing yourself. What’s one step you can take this week to change that?

If you’ve been struggling to ask for what you deserve, you’re not alone. The good news is these patterns can be changed.

Asking for more isn’t just about money—it’s about valuing your time, energy, and expertise. Your worth is not up for debate. You don’t need permission to ask for more—you just need the courage to start.